THE QUALITY OF A CHRISTIAN WIFE AND THAT OF A SINGLE LADY

The breakthrough we have experienced and still experiencing in the area of science and technology  in the 21ist century has somehow left in our mind as a people, male and female alike, something  I would want to deliberately call a misconception rather than civilization as we have being often told to called it. For the sake of the topic before me. I will like to direct my thoughts and expressions to the female gender of God’ creation as it relate to them being a wife (A lady married to a man), and a single lady (A woman free from the covenant and commitment of marriage). 

It’s no news that due to the advancement and civilization in our society today most present day married women wishes to continue in their marriage with their husbands but yet wants to be free from the commitment of the institution called marriage.  Most of them wants to be seen posing in their white dresses (Wedding gowns), but yet refuse to keep up with the responsibilities of a wife.  As a matter of fact, most present day ladies wouldn’t have a problem having a wedding ceremony of their dream just for the excitement of being called (Mrs.) Even if they know deep down in their heart that they don’t really want to be with the set man.

On the other hand, some single women find it strange to stay single as they would really want to due to the stigma our current society has placed on being single as a lady. They struggle to believe that being single as a lady is cool and has its benefits.  And because of the lack of celebration and acceptance of singlehood as women in our current society most of them join themselves to men who literally does nothing, but exploits and abuse and eventually derail their destiny. Spiritually and also physically.  

Wives, submit to your own husband, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18. (See 1 Peter 3:1, Ephesians 5:22).

Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 1Timothy 3:11. ( see 1 Timothy 4:7, 2Timothy 2:16, Act 5:6-10, 1 Corinthians 7:2-10, Job 2:9, Proverb 12:4, Proverb 18:22, Proverb 19:13)

What are these qualities?

Before I start parading these qualities before us can I at least give you a quick background of a Christian wife?

 A Christian wife is not that woman / sister, who was born, raised and got married in the church. As a matter of truth, being  born again as a wife doesn’t make you a Christian wife. A wife could be born again, speak in tongues and prophesy and even occasionally or regularly cast out demons from another oppressed individual and still fall short of the mark of being a Christian wife.

A Christian wife therefore is that woman irrespective of   age, complexion, size or societal status who practice the principles and applies the scriptures in her dealings with firstly her husband, and then her kids, and  everyone around her within the perimeters of her marriage.. 

To put it direct to you; a Christian wife act and does not assume. See 1Timothy 5:9-10   

   

SOME QUALITIES

1.       Submission:

According to Colossians 3:18 one quality of a Christian wife is the willingness to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord.  “As unto the Lord” could be translated as; submitting to him even when his decisions don’t make sense to you as a wife as long as it’s not against God’s ways. See Act 5:6-10.  Submission is not an easy thing to do especially when you don’t have confidence in your husband’s decisions as a wife, due to past experiences. But all the same as a Christian wife it would do you great good to submit and pray to God about the issue than to refuse to submit. A wise man once said to a lady struggling to submit to her husband due to his consistency in making bad decisions for the family;  submitting to your husband is like getting out of the way so God can have a better view of him, and give him a good knock for taking your act of submission for granted. 

2.       Reverence/ Respect :

  

  Their wives must be reverent … 1Timothy 3:11

Another outstanding quality of a Christian wife is her reverence for her husband and others. As a Christian wife, the quality of your reference for God is made visible in the amount of reverence and respect you genuinely give to your husband before people and in private. No matter how anointed, industrious, intelligent and beautiful you are as a Christian wife, you can never worship God rightly if you fail to respect and show reverence to your husband. Whether he is rich or poor, dark or light in complexion it makes no difference. 

A wife who fails to respect his husband would not find it hard to disrespect others. Any Christian woman who is fond of disrespecting others is guilty of lack of reverence for her own husband in private. No matter how much she tries to pretend to respect him in public.

3.      Temperate And A Faithfulness

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones Proverb 12:4 ( See Proverb 19:13b)

Nothing makes Christian women standouts among other women like having a good temperament. As a Christian wife one great gift you would ever give to your husband is your ability to manage your temperament. Nothing embarrasses a man like a wife   with a very bad temperament. Always fighting, involving in one scandal after another. When there is conflict at your work ‘or business place you are sure to be at the center of it. 

Men generally see  women with  bad temperaments as  those who can not be trusted.  

 A Christian wife with a good temperament is like a magnet to her husband. 

A man finds it easy to confide in a wife with a calm and stable temperament. 

Men find solace and draws strength and courage from a wife with a great temperament. To an unfaithful man, a woman with a controlled temperament is like a coal of fire heaped on his conscience. Her presence brings him to the judgment seat of his conscience always. 

 And being faithful is a non negotiable quality of a Christian wife. Faithfulness to your husband, kids and your vision as a team is like cold water offered to a man   wondering in a sun scorching desert. A wife who is faithful to her husband and house hold never fails to win the trust, admiration of her husband and kids. A lady or wife with a good temperament and faithfulness towards her husband or God is a lady of excellence single or married.

 The word crown speaks of wisdom. And this qualifies her to be named among the wise.

The Quality of a single sister

In conclusion I would want to make it very clear to you that the qualities of a Christian single lady and that of Christian wife are the same. And my reason for this conclusion is seen in the fact that every Christian single lady is a potential Christian wife.  When all Christian single ladies understand this truth the temptation to wait to be married before displaying some of the qualities of A Christian wife discussed in this article will not be necessary. 

As we all would know, marriage does not create in us, male and female alike new qualities we have not learned and practiced why living as singles.  But on the contrary marriage amplifies the qualities we already possess.

Therefore as Christian single lady who is searching for scriptural principles in regards to the qualities mentioned here. I would advise you to learn and master within the context of your single-hood the very same scriptures and qualities discussed in this article for determining a Christian wife.

i.e.  Submission to God in every aspect of your life is one good quality that distinguishes you as a Christian single. Being faithful to God, having reverence for God and respect for the people around you, old and young. 

As Christian single lady your level of faithfulness towards God is directly proportional to the morality of the life you would  lead both in private and in the public.  Therefore, I say to you today, you don’t need to wait to be married before starting to develop and live out these qualities in your life. 

God bless you! 

THE QUALITY OF A CHRISTIAN WIFE AND THAT OF A SINGLE LADY

The breakthrough we have experienced and still experiencing in the area of science and technology  in the 21st century has somehow left in our mind as a people, male and female alike, something  I will want to deliberately call a misconception rather than civilization as we have being often told to called it. For the sake of the topic before me. I will like to direct my thoughts and expressions to the female gender of God’ creation as it relate to them being a wife (A lady married to a man), and a single lady (A woman free from the covenant and commitment of marriage). 

It’s no news that due to the advancement and civilization in our society today most present day married women wishes to continue in their marriage with their husbands but yet wants to be free from the commitment of the institution called marriage.  Most of them wants to be seen posing in their white dresses (Wedding gowns), but yet refuse to keep up with the responsibilities of a  wife.  As a matter of fact, most present day ladies wouldn't have a problem having a wedding ceremony of their dream just for the excitement of being called (Mrs.) Even if they know deep down in their heart that they don’t really want to be with the so called man they re married to.

On the other hand, some single women find it strange to stay single as they would really want to due to the stigma our current society has placed on being single as a lady. They struggle to believe that being single as a lady is cool and that  it has benefits.  And because of the lack of celebration and acceptance of single hood as women in our current society most single ladies has joined themselves
to men who  literally does nothing, but exploits abuse and eventually derail their destiny. Spiritually and also physically.  

Wives, submit to your own husband, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18. (See 1 Peter 3:1, Ephesians 5:22). Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 1 Timothy 3:11. ( see 1 Timothy 4:7, 2 Timothy 2:16, Act 5:6-10, 1 Corinthians 7:2-10, Job 2:9, Proverb 12:4, Proverb 18:22, Proverb 19:13)

 Qualities

Before I start parading these qualities before us can I at least give you a quick background of a Christian wife?  A Christian wife is not that woman / sister, who was born, raised and got married in the church. As a matter of truth, being  born again as a wife doesn't make you a Christian wife. A wife could be born again, speak in tongues and prophesy and even occasionally or regularly cast out demons from another oppressed individual and still fall short of the mark of being a Christian wife.

A Christian wife therefore is that woman irrespective of   age, complexion, size or societal status who practice the principles and applies the scriptures in her dealings with firstly her husband, and then her kids, and  everyone around her within the perimeters of her marriage.. 

To put it direct to you; a Christian wife act and does not assume. See 1 Timothy 5:9-10   

  Submission:

According to Colossians 3:18 one quality of a Christian wife is the willingness to submit to her own husband as unto the Lord.  “As unto the Lord” could be translated as; submitting to him even when his decisions don’t make sense to you as a wife as long as it’s not against God’s ways. See Act 5:6-10.  Submission is not an easy thing to do especially when you don’t have confidence in your husband’s decisions as a wife, due to past experiences. But all the same as a Christian wife it would do you great good to submit and pray to God about the issue than to refuse to submit. A wise man once said to a lady struggling to submit to her husband due to his consistency in making bad decisions for the family;  submitting to your husband is like getting out of the way so God can have a better view of him, and give him a good knock for taking your act of submission for granted. 

  Reverence/ Respect : Their wives must be reverent … 1 Timothy 3:11

Another outstanding quality of a Christian wife is her reverence for her husband and others. As a Christian wife, the quality of your reference for God is made visible in the amount of reverence and respect you genuinely give to your husband before people and in private. No matter how anointed, industrious, intelligent and beautiful you are as a Christian wife, you can never worship God rightly if you fail to respect and show reverence to your husband. Whether he is rich or poor, dark or light in complexion it makes no difference. 

A wife who fails to respect his husband would not find it hard to disrespect others. Any Christian woman who is fond of disrespecting others is guilty of lack of reverence for her own husband in private. No matter how much she tries to pretend to respect him in public.

 Temperate And A Faithfulness : An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones Proverb 12:4 ( See Proverb 19:13)

Nothing makes Christian women standouts among other women like having a good temperament. As a Christian wife one great gift you would ever give to your husband is your ability to manage your temperament. Nothing embarrasses a man like a wife   with a very bad temperament. Always fighting, involving in one scandal after another. When there is conflict at your work ‘or business place you are sure to be at the center of it. Men generally see  women with  bad temperaments as  those who can not be trusted. A Christian wife with a good temperament is like a magnet to her husband. A man finds it easy to confide in a wife with a calm and stable temperament. Men find solace and draws strength and courage from a wife with a great temperament. To an unfaithful man, a woman with a controlled temperament is like a coal of fire heaped on his conscience. Her presence brings him to the judgment seat of his conscience always.  And being faithful is a non negotiable quality of a Christian wife. Faithfulness to your husband, kids and your vision as a team is like cold water offered to a man   wondering in a sun scorching desert. A wife who is faithful to her husband and house hold never fails to win the trust, admiration of her husband and kids. A lady or wife with a good temperament and faithfulness towards her husband or God is a lady of excellence single or married.

 The word crown speaks of wisdom. And this qualifies her to be named among the wise.

The Quality of a single sister

In conclusion I would want to make it very clear to you that the qualities of a Christian single lady and that of Christian wife are the same. And my reason for this conclusion is seen in the fact that every Christian single lady is a potential Christian wife.  When all Christian single ladies understand this truth the temptation to wait to be married before displaying some of the qualities of A Christian wife discussed in this article will not be necessary. 

 Marriage do not create in us, male and female alike new qualities we have not learned and practiced why living as singles.  But on the contrary marriage amplifies the qualities we already possess. Therefore as a Christian single lady who is searching for scriptural principles in regards to the qualities mentioned here. I will advise you to learn and master within the context of your single-hood the very same scriptures and qualities discussed in this article for determining a Christian wife. i.e.  Submission to God in every aspect of your life is one good quality that distinguishes you as a Christian single. Being faithful to God, having reverence for God and respect for the people around you, old and young. As a Christian  single lady your level of faithfulness towards God is directly proportional to the morality of the life you  lead both in private and in the public.  Therefore, I say to you today, you don’t need to wait to be married before you start developing and living out these qualities in your life. 

God bless you! 

Love, A Better Option

Romans 13:8-10  Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

It's amazing to know that God requires that every one of us, especially His children keeps to the law. I know this may sound strange to some of us. But that's the truth.

God would definitely not have us kill, steal and covet just because we are His kids. As a matter of truth being His sons and daughters puts a demand on us to fulfill the law.

On the other hand trying to fulfill the law with our own strength and ability puts us in the danger of breaking it. For example, how do we know what to do in order not to covet someone else's stuff. Or what do we do to avoid the sin of adultery or murder knowing that one can be guilty of any of these sins by just considering them in their heart.

This is where the law of love comes handy. Like the scripture puts in verse ten of Romans 13; herefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Which is easier, trying to remember and practice all the commandments word for word, line upon line or just learning to love my neighbor? I don't know about you, but learning to love is way easier. 
God knew this long ago hence He instructed us to love one another. He knew love is definitely a better option.

There is something about loving a neighbor and that it prevents us from doing any harm to them. You  can't love someone and covet his/ her stuff. It's not possible. You can't love and at the same time steal from the same person. 

... But the greatest is LOVE!

Yes, you and I can fulfill the law. In fact that's one of God' expectations for us. This is why He introduced us to His love. When we learn to love, the ability to fulfill the law comes natural to us.
Any man living in love is indirectly fulfilling the law.

Dear friend the grace to fulfill the law is the very love of God residing in you.

Freedom from Secret Sin

Genesis 39:9 There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

 2 Corinthians 7:1 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

I'm aware that the message on sin is almost like a taboo in the present Christian community.
This is so because most of us believe it lack the ability to exhort and motivate it audience. But permit me to share with you something God has laid in my heart this morning.

The truth is many good and faithful Christians are struggling with their walk with the Lord, and for some, it could be said that this is so because of a secret sin in their life. A sin they hated so much and wish God would take away one day.

A sin they're not proud of or comfortable talking to others about. And for many it's not so much of the sin of fornication, or adultery, but small lies, lies that they tell every time no one is watching. For some of us it’s the sin of coveteousness, the lust for the world' stuff at the expense of our Faith in Christ.
The big question is; what is the way out from such sin?

Recently the Spirit of God whispered in my heart a statement that changed my life in regards to the issue of secret sin. He said and I quote;
" the fear of man delivers one from public sin, but the fear of God keeps us ( sets us free) from private sins".

I have met with people who have tried all they could to do away with a particular private sin in their life but kept falling into it over and over again.
Some of them even gave up a particular thing they felt was the source of their indulgence, but still could not overcome the temptation they are faced with in regard to that secret sin.

As I pay close attention to the above scriptures in Genesis 39:9 and 2Corinthians 7:1, the word of the Holy Spirit to me became very clear.

Joseph' ability to overcome the temptation of the secret sin of adultery as suggested to him by the wife of his boss, came from his reverence for God. And not necessarily because he was a good Hebrew boy

Friends when it comes to overcoming a secret sin, our fear for God speaks more volume than our position and titles as Christians.

You will not overcome that habit by just quoting the scriptures.
Ask God to baptize you with His fear. And when that happens you will find yourself living above that sin you thought was impossible to overcome.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

(Reference Luke 11:22’ 1 Corinthians 9:24, 2 Corinthians 10:4-6).

Introduction: When it comes to doing battle, and engaging in warfare within the Christian community. The flesh and the physical human ability will always come last.

As believers in Christ, our battles, wrestling and warfare are more spiritual than they are physical.

And for us to remain the victors Jesus had made us to be through His act of love on the cross according to Galatians 3:13. We will need to be more spiritually focused than we are physically conscious of the effect of the attacks of the devil against us.  And one of the ways to stay spiritually focused is for us to take up the whole armor of God. Yeah! The whole armor!

Recently I was experiencing some difficulty in almost every areas of my life and couldn’t understand why. After spending some time in prayer the Spirit of God began to reveal to me the source of the difficulties I was going through.

 My first response to God when the source of the difficulties was revealed was but LORD why?

  

This question came as a result of my knowledge of what the scripture says about any born again believer of Christ  as far as their deliverance from their old nature and any / every other connection they may  have through relatives and parents with a covenant with the devil is concern, either presently or in the past.   In answer to my question the Spirit of God called my attention to the text in Ephesians 6:11, 13. THE WHOLE ARMOR! And this made me to realize that having some of these armor as we would see later on is not going to stop the devil from harassing a believer no matter how anointed he / she is.  The requirement is the whole, the complete armor.

1 Corinthians 9:24, reads: Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. Verse 25 further explains the fact that although one may run a race, but would be disqualified from obtaining the price if he / she refuse to comply with the rules of the game.

This is one reason Paul instructed the Christians in Ephesus going through some form of harassment from the devil to put on the whole armor. Just like a runner in a race who is disqualified for not running lawfully according to the laws that govern the game. These guys were all Christians but yet suffering from the attacks of the devil due to their own ignorance of how to engage in spiritual warfare.

THE MAN AND HIS HELPER

Man’ design according to God is so complex that he cannot truly function and maximize his potentials without a help of some sort from a particular power /force other - wise known according to scripture as the “HELPER”.

In the case of the Christian man; this Helper is known as the Holy Spirit, (The very Spirit of God), and for the man as it relates to the institution of marriage, the “WOMAN”.

The Helper in the life of any man is more powerful than most of us could fully comprehend. While God gave man influence over the works of His hands, He gave the Helper influence over the man. 
It’s true God made man in His image, (with His ability to carry out His mandate here on earth), but man will always fail to accomplish this task without the help of the Helper. 
It’s true a man is the head of the family, but he will always fall short of being a good leader of the family without the cooperative help of the woman in the family. 
The big question to be considered right now especially within our present society with the issue of so many failed marriages is; How can a helper render the right help?

In answering this question we need to pay close attention to the following points.

1. You not can successfully help a man by exporting ideas and 
solutions from sources outside the confines of the very source and essence of his being (God): No matter how talented and blessed a helper we are. We would lose our ability given to us by God to enable us influence and help the men God has placed in our lives as women if we try to render help to them using elements from sources outside God’s bank of resources.

JESUS’ INTRODUCTION OF THE HELPER
When Jesus spoke to His disciples in regards to the Helper, He was sending to them before He went to the cross. He made one thing very clear to them about the Him. 
And that is; He will bring them help from the very sources of God. 
The same source they are made of, the very source He taught them from.

Two things were emphatically cleared about the Helper by Jesus.

• The Helper will not speak on His own authority 
• He will take what is mine (Jesus’, God’) and declare it to them

As powerful as the Holy Spirits was and still is. He has and will never minister to God’ people from His own authority. This is the reason why the very word of God is His perimeters when dealing with God’s Children.

As a woman when you begin to export ideas and opinions from elements and systems on your own authority and that are directly outside the very sources of God in your capacity as an helper to help a man, you’ re doing him a great harm than good. 
It’s just a matter of time and he will react especially if his bent on fulfilling his God given mandate. No matter how out of shape he might look. 
The element in God’s kit for help is more than able to fix him.

2. In helping a man the next place to start from is the place of understanding that he is where he’s from, what is his mission to earth: If this is true, of which it is. The idea of putting all men in one box when seeking for ways to help your man might bring a relief to him as opposed to the help he needs. Although all men are made in God’s image, but their lives’ purposes are different. You cannot help a man you do not understand. You cannot help a man who lacks self identity. You cannot help a man while re despising what he stands for.

One very difficult thing to do when trying to help a man is to try and help him without understanding who he is, what his life purpose is

It’s suicidal to influence a man to follow your own fantasies at the expenses of his purpose. If you do not like his life purpose and feel you cannot be part of such, the best thing to do for him is to excuse yourself from him. Do not try to persuade him to abandon his destiny because you do not feel alright about it. If you love him, you will have to love his life purpose no matter how insignificant it is, otherwise stay away from him.

Two things would eventually happen to men who lives outside their destinies; it’s either they die as successful failures courtesy of you or they do everything within their power to get rid of you once they come to their senses.

As I conclude on this article of the Man and His Helper. Be aware that there is not one man on earth today without a purpose. And as a man going through this, be aware that there is a helper who would gladly apply herself to helping you fulfill your life purpose, no matter how insignificant it might look to you. And also remember, there is no inferior purpose, only short sighted people. 
You are only equal to your man within your relationship as a woman according to the proportion of your ability to render help to him from God’s own resources of his life while allowing him the honor to go after His life purpose. As a woman, you are not inferior to the man in your relationship because you are called a helper. You have the same job description as the most powerful Person on earth and that is the Holy Spirit. This makes you as powerful as the Holy Spirit Himself within the confines of your marriage. Just like the Holy Spirit, make full proof of your power by using it rightly.

God bless you!