Article: Truths Christians Needs To Know About Adoption
Date: May 28, 2017
When Jesus saw His
mother and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to his mother,
woman, behold, your son, then he said to the disciple, behold your mother! And
from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. John 19:26-27 (ESV)
Nothing
causes doubt to arise in the heart of a prospective parent who is busy
contemplating, and waiting for the approval of the people in-charge for his/her
request to adopt a child like the phrase “blood is thicker than water”. Especially among African parents who truly
have the desire to adopt a child. Whether due to their own childlessness or
because of their hearts for orphans, The idea that an adopted child would never
grow up to be like one’s own biological child can be said to be largely
responsible for the lay back attitude most people have towards the issue of
adoption. According to research,
Africans, whether African Americans, or Africans from the continent of Africa
have a very low record of child adoption compare to those from other race. And
the blood is thicker than water slogan cannot be divorced from the negative views
most Africans have when it comes to the issue of adoption. Prior to the writing
of this article on adoption, I have always had my own idea and theory on the
subject. Positive ones, I must confess though.
But I have never bothered to investigate my idea as it relate to God’s
thought on this very subject until recently while studying the scriptures when
my attention was brought to a particular scripture passage that got me thinking
about the issue in a different light, and to further my thought in this regard,
I asked myself the question, what is God’ take on Adoption? I must say
that my findings on this issue regarding God’ thought on adoption, for lack of
better word was humbling. Oh yeah! But could be challenging for the believer
who is more cultural than he /she is spiritual.
One amongst the various articles I read while investigating
this subject as it relates to the believer is the response of Rachel
GarlingHouse while responding to the question ‘why white people adopts black
children, by Denene Milner Aug. 2011. Out of all the points given by Rachel as to why
white parents adopts black children, the one thought that stuck with me is the one that reads and I quote; My
girls are “my own” despite the questions we are often asked or the stares we
encounter. Our motivation to adopt and to accept a child of any race is,
despite the complexity of race and adoption in America, quite simple: “I wanted
to be a mother to the child God had for us”. Wow! What an incredible mind set. I wish
every human on planet earth could embrace such mind set in regards to the
subject of adoption.
God’s Take On Adoption
After
investigating God’s thought on the subject of adoption through the lenses of some
researchers and of course with the help of the scriptures, here is my
submission.
God The First Man To Adopt
This might
sound awkward to some people, but it will not take it away from the truth the fact
that God is an Adoptive parent, and not only that He is an adoptive
parent, He is also the first to do so.
But when the fullness
of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law,
to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as
sons. Galatians 4:4-6. ESV.( See Romans 9:4 and Ephesians 1:5).
God doesn't
have any problem with the act of adoption as you can see through the scriptures
the fact that He is an adoptive Father. You and I were not His biological kids;
on the contrary we are His adoptive children. And this reality does not make
Him love us any less. As a matter of truth, when He looks at us, He sees us
just like the way He sees Jesus His only begotten Son, according John 3:16. And
that is why the scripture in 1 John 4:17 says; “As He is, so are we in this
world. As Jesus is to God, so are we (you and I) to the Father. The idea
that one cannot truly love an adoptive child as he or she would love his/her biological
child is more culturally and sentimentally driven than it is a reality. It
doesn't matter if the child’ biological parents were (are) criminals. If God’ love for the children once sold to
the devil could cause them to live right and do right by Him, so is your love
for that adoptive child. The stability of a parent’ love will cause any child to
do right by him/her. The way an adoptive
child turns out is determined by the love and choices of his or her adoptive
parent and not necessarily due to his blood line. The same way the future of a
biological child depends on the choice of his/her parent to love him/her
against all odds. As an adoptive parent, if you relate and treat your adopted
children with the attitude of an adoptive parent, they will return the favor
to you by acting like adoptive kids when dealing with you. A child’s (adoptive
or biological) mind is like soft clay, it will always take the shape the potter
designs it to take when it is fully dried. The whole of
mankind became slave and children of Satan the very day Adam and Eve gave in,
to Satan’s deception. But in spite of this truth God still sent His only
begotten Son for our adoption. There’s a myth that most of us have come to
believe which states; the child of a prostitute will always become a prostitute
or the child of an armed robber will always become an armed robber’. But I tell you
something; the child of an armed robber is only likely to grow up and become an
armed robber when there’s no one in the community who cares enough outside his
or her biological parents to show him/her a more excellent way different from
their life style. And the act of adoption is one excellent way to see to that.
Some myth about adoption
Adoption
is a selfish, easy solution – for an unexpected pregnancy – made by expectant
parents who don't care about their child.
Myth:
No one can love a child as much as a birth mother or birth father does.
Myth:
The birth mother will regret her decision for the rest of her life and have
serious emotional problems.
Myth:
Adoption is a more traumatic experience for a woman than abortion.
Myth:
The adoption process is secretive and a birth parent will never know anything
about their child and their adoptive parents in the following years.
Myth:
A birth family will eventually forget about the child for whom they made an
adoption plan.
Myth:
Adoption damages the child.
Myth:
Open adoption is confusing to children and a form of co-parenting.
Myth:
Adoptive parents often break their openness agreements with their child's birth
parents.
Myth:
Placing a child with a family of another race or ethnicity is bound to cause
problems for the child.
Myth About Bad Habits
One myth about bad habits we must all delete from our minds
as quick as possible is the myth that suggest that sin or any type of bad habit
is genetically transmitted. If this is correct, we would have all been done
from the time we became children of the devil, the day Adam and Eve sold out. The truth of the matter is; “bad habits are
likely to re-surface within a family
line, generations down the line when no one take it upon him/herself to
correct the wrong and teach the right way to the descendants of a supposed ancestor who had supposedly approached life
and certain issue wrongly. Especially
when they -re faced with difficulties beyond their comprehension at a time. I.e.
The story of Abraham, who told a lie that Sarah was his sister whereas she was
his wife due to his fear of been killed because of her beauty before they both
entered Egypt (See Genesis 12:11-16, & Genesis 20:2), And that of Isaac’
lie about his wife years than the line is not in any way an indication that bad
habits are genetically transmitted. (See Genesis 26:7-11).
The Reality Of Fear
Most of us
do not have the slightest clue as to why the word fear appears so many times in
the scriptures and why God had to keep reminding us not to be afraid. In fact the word fear appears in 395 verses
in the scriptures according to the King James Version of the bible. Fear has the ability to cause people to repeat
the same response to a situation over and over again until they are taught a
different approach on how to deal with the situation or possibly remove the elements that causes fear to be
present in that particular situation. The reason Isaac responded the same way
Abraham did in the same situation was not because he had genetically inherited
the habit of telling lies from him. But because he was never taught how to deal
with the fear of losing one’s wife to another man, especially the man’ whose
nation you have come to take shelter. Same way Abraham never had anyone taught
him on what to do in such instance. And this is why God kept telling us not to
be afraid after He adopted us. He did not only encourage us not to be afraid.
But he also came down in the person of Jesus to show us how to deal with fear
in any form. The Cultural and
sentimental idea behind adoption is based on nothing but fear. And fear often
times only have ability to paralyze us
from taking a step but does not have the ability to determine the end result
when we decide to beat it to it and go ahead to do what we re desire to do as
it relates to the subject matter. Fear aside, adoption is one of the greatest miracles
God ever wrought. Through adoption His one Son gave way to millions of sons and
daughters from all nations, kingdom and status. This same miracle awaits any
parent who will take the initiative, put aside the negative myth as made
believed by culture and a particular community and go ahead to do like God did
and adopt a child or more. Most parents who are looking for the fruit of the
womb are by passing the miracle of adoption and are busy asking God for the
miracle of a baby. All children are from
God, adopted or biological. The way you perceive them will determine the way
you will take care of them and the way you take of them determines how they
will respond and take care of you when the time is right.
Bibliography
·
Holy Bible (English Standard Version,
Compact edition, copy right ©2001 by crossway, a publishing ministry of Good
News Publishers. All right reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011.
·
Rachel Garlinghouse’s response to the Article “why white people Adopt black
children. By Denene Milner Aug. 2011.
·
what adopting a white girl taught one
black family
BY Tony
Dokoupil on 4/22/09
·
The top ten myths about adoption: Subscribe
archives adoption guide state laws directory store webinars, 2017.05.27.
·
Churches Adopt Adoption by CARLA
BARNHILL| JULY 6, 2010
·
History of Adoption by Cassandra
Price, Program Assistant 1
·
The Trouble With the Christian
Adoption Movement by BY KATHRYN JOYCE, January 11, 2016
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